Failure & Resilience

• “I succeed five thousand times to find out what does not work.”
• “I failed my way to success.”
• “The most creative scientist is also the scientist who has failed the most.”
• “Learn to fail, or fail to learn.”
• “Have the courage to face cruel reality.”
• “You cannot control failure. But you can decide whether it is permanent or temporary.”
• “Happy people (top 10%) don’t experience less hardship, they recover faster and ask themselves after failure: what can I learn from it? How should we evaluate it?”
• “Belief is not enough. It also needs a lot of hard work and persistence, and a great deal of failure and you need to learn from them.”
• “It is in the depth of winter that I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.”
• “Patience and persistence can miraculously clear obstacles.”
• “Successful people don’t fail less than others. Just make the best of what happens.”
• “After experiencing pain: take action, take responsibility (instead of blaming).”
• “Change is a difficult thing.”
• “The importance of silence. Self-reflection is extremely important and valuable.”
• “Common brain judgment errors: magnifying (exaggerating consequences of mistakes, amplifying pain), minimizing (taking responsibility, not blaming), make up (see things more objectively).”

Self-Belief & Success

• “Characteristics of successful people: Keep asking questions. Believe in themselves that they can do well.”
• “Create a good environment: paintings, mottos, etc. The power of subtle influence.”
• “Have your favorite books next to you.”
• “Believe in success does not mean success. Failure, Persistence and Hard work.”
• “People who are confident in life create the future.”
• “Praise without distinction does more harm than good.”
• “Write down your strengths every day.”
• “Tell myself that I can make it.”
• “Appreciating beauty is important! Do not take anything for granted.”
• “Appreciate your strengths, and they will be reinforced.”
• “We see our shortcomings but ignore our virtues.”
• “Believe in and respect yourself.”
• “Find out what others are good at and appreciate it.”
• “If you believe that you are uncommon, you will become uncommon.”
• “Your potential is there all along. All you need is to believe that it exists. Your mind is always affecting your life.”
• “Create positive situations.”
• “There is no ‘destiny’, everyone one of us can be changed. Before, people thought that IQ is unable to change.”
• “Teams themselves don’t make work efficient. Having a common goal can. Individuals are the same.”
• “Self-awareness is destiny.”
• “Self-esteem cannot be improved by blindly lifting yourself up (narcissism, detachment from reality). Healthy self-esteem should come from truth, from practice.”
• “Arrogance is not self-esteem, it’s actually the opposite (tough outside, weak inside).”

Personal Integrity

• “Integrity: consistency in words and actions, keeping promises. ‘My words matter, I matter.’”
• “Have your own opinions, clear distinction between right and wrong.”
• “Permission to be human.”
• “Everyone has some dependent self-esteem (no one can get rid of it entirely).”
• “I am the one who decides. Focus on the SELF.”
• “Challenge yourself, see your past as a ‘Beautiful enemy’.”
• “Signs of seeking others’ approval: ‘We say that we want the truth, but what we mean is that we want to be correct.’”
• “I’m confident enough not to be engaged in evaluations.”
• “Pay attention to things themselves, not others’ attitudes.”
• “When others’ Success & Beauty does not threaten you, you can enjoy more.”

Positive Focus

• “How we sense the environment is more important than the environment itself.”
• “The fault finder will find faults even in paradise.”
• “Look at the bright side of life. Find miracle in common.”
• “It’s just a stone, you can take it as either a stumbling block or a stepping stone.”
• “Learn to interpret life positively.”
• “Never let a good crisis go to waste.”
• “Thesis and antithesis and then there is a synthesis.”
• “Things don’t happen for the best, but some people do make them become the best.”
• “A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
• “Focus creates reality. You may see the darkness, as for me, most politicians do honest and well.”
• “Appreciation is important.”
• “Human characteristic: sense the change and ignore the constant. Advantage: helps us get over difficult times. Disadvantage: we tend to take constant happiness for granted (e.g. health, relationship, life…)”
• “Must tragedy happen until you finally realize your happiness?”
• “Smiles are contagious (compliment others more).”
• “Good mood broadens your horizons, leads to broader & better solutions.”
• “Shift pain into better feelings, think of it as opportunities.”
• “Happiness doesn’t decrease when shared. It is a positive-sum game.”
• “My happiness doesn’t cause others pain. You deserve all of your happiness.”
• “When we try to suppress certain emotions, we only strengthen them. Acceptance of feeling.”
• “Refusing to accept what exists only increases pain.”
• “Pain is part of life, just as gravity is part of nature.”
• “Our emotions have no good or bad, no right or wrong, but how we deal with them is important.”
• “We cannot change our nature, so accept it, understand it, make the best use of it.”
• “I could feel it a certain way, but it did not mean that I need to resign to my thought about it.”
• “Accept the things that I cannot change, change the things that I can. And have the wisdom to tell the difference.”
• “Happiness is determined by mental state (not external things).”
• “Liberate yourself and enjoy here and now.”
• “Be a positive finder.”

Action & Achievement

• “Be the change that you want to see in the world.”
• “Others mostly do what you do rather than what you say.”
• “The standards we judge others by are the standards we judge ourselves by.”
• “To cope as opposed to escape, results in a higher baseline of happiness.”
• “The task of pushing human progress forward won’t wait for perfect people to complete it.”
• “If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success, unexpected in common hours.”
• “Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
• “Have great hopes and dare to go all out for them, have great dreams and dare to live them, have tremendous expectation and believe in them.”
• “Follow reality, don’t escape or act recklessly (designing a plane without concerning gravity).”
• “Be responsible for yourself. No one is there for you, but yourself.”
• “When we have the ‘what for’, ‘Every How’ becomes possible.” —Nietzsche
• “Burn your bridges (throw your bag to another side of the wall): Now you have to do all that you can to get over that difficulty.”
• “Do not bother asking: ‘is it possible?’ That is nonsense, ask: ‘How can I do it?’ & you will achieve it step by step.”
• “Words have power. When we say something, it’s more likely to happen.”
• “If you really made the decision. Everything will help you accomplishing it.”
• “When we begin to ask ‘How?’ Resources will begin to enter our eyesight (Because your focus creates the reality of your own).”

Physical Well-being

• “The power of daily exercise = the most powerful mental drug (including yoga & meditation).”
• “At least half an hour of exercise time every day.”
• “About 8 hours of sleep every day.”
• “15 minutes of mental exercise every day.”
• “12 hugs every day.”
• “Listen to your body.”
• “Recovery is as important as exercise.”
• “Better too little than nothing principle to prevent inability to persist.”
• “I’m worth this happiness!”
• “After exercise: memory improves, creativity, concentration, body strength…”
• “Focus is important. Train it.”
• “Sleep and exercise are the best investment at every level.”
• “When having difficulty sleeping, think positively (opportunity to have a deep thought about these busy days).”

Perfectionism vs. Excellence

• “Perfectionism: produces disabling fear of important things, fear of failure, believes development should be linear.”
• “Excellence: predicts and accepts failure, more trusting of reality, knows that progress spirals upward with setbacks and even regression.”
• “P & E can be as ambitious and successful, but E enjoys life more and is stronger in the face of failure. They accept reality and use it. P is more defensive when criticized, so they are less likely to change.”
• “Everyone has a little bit of perfectionism.”
• “P focuses too much on what is not working.”
• “E enjoys every step of the way.”
• “P thinks of problems in two extremes: All or nothing.”
• “E has acceptance of personal failure and self as a whole.”
• “P are afraid of failure and afraid of being seen when they fail.”
• “Journey is as important as the goal.”
• “Appreciate small and common things instead of taking them for granted.”
• “Typical perfectionism: Either I don’t touch it, or I eat it all. Either I am a supermodel, or I’m overweight.”
• “Perfectionism only hurts self-esteem (because they don’t accept the true self).”
• “E also doesn’t expect others to be perfect (be generous to others).”
• “E has creative tension: the feeling of excitement when faced with problems.”
• “P’s disabling fear: when we worry about failure, it’s hard to act (enemy of creativity).”
• “Trying new things can help us find luck. Because we begin to see things that we haven’t seen before.”
• “20% of our time can do 80% of our jobs. Use another 80% where you really care about. You will finally find your happiness in work, and achieve more in other parts.”
• “Find your excellent working time, and get work done there, with high efficiency.”
• “It’s hard to change from perfectionism to excellence.”
• “It’s just okay to have some perfectionism within you.”
• “The journey is the reward.”
• “We are always praised for results, not process. Our tries, our coping, our failures and getting up again - the process deserves rewarding.”
• “Be aware of what I want to change and what I want to maintain.”
• “At the end of my life, I will write my magnum opus. Until then, everything is rough draft.”

Mental Processing

• “Continuous reflection is not always a good thing. Timely distraction of certain negative emotions (strategic inaction, then action is possible).”
• “‘It’s pointless, it won’t lead anywhere. Let’s move on!’”
• “Don’t sweat the small things. Is it worth my time and attention?”
• “What constitutes psychological maturity: We can dig into the now and present, and we can jump out and see if it still matters in a year? In your life? And go back again, just as you wish.”
• “3P: Permission to be human, Positive thinker and finder, Perspective shifting freely.”
• “Affect (emotion) Behavior (act) Cognition (thought).”
• “Signature Character Strengths: Positive affect, Engaged life, Meaningful life.”

Relationships

• “Relationship is part of life. You need to find your quota.”
• “To be a lover will require that you continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar and the fortitude of the certain.”
• “‘Quiet desperation’” —Thoreau
• “When we enter a relationship, we expect it will always maintain its original form.”
• “Accept nature. To expect that is to set up to fail.”

Solutions

• “Work hard to maintain.”
• “Instead of focusing on finding ’the one’, try to cultivate her to be the one (After finding one).”
• “There is no success in a relationship. Only succeeding.”
• “Have a super-ordinate goal that needs to be done together (e.g. work, child, etc.).”
• “Support each other’s hopes & aspirations and build a sense of purpose into their lives.”
• “Relationship rituals (e.g. 2 days every week have lunch together). Because Important-yet-not-urgent things are always left behind (without rituals).”
• “Deeper levels of intimacy (knowing one another) require opening up (showing weaknesses and shameful things) as well. But these need to be released as time goes on (just as leadership, love needs engaging & integrity).”
• “To be known rather than impressed.”
• “When conflicting, don’t ask ‘what’s wrong?’ Just solve it and everything will be better.”
• “Living in a sterile environment is harmful; love without conflict also lacks immunity.”
• “Love is in details (Remember important days, flowers, compliments, smile…) they are free.”
• “‘Thank you for thinking of me.’”
• “Learn to empathize. ‘How does she feel?’”
• “Be careful of your words. When you are aiming at Act, thought, ideas themselves, that is healthy. But aiming at Person, Emotional or who they are is unhealthy.”
• “E.g., ‘Put the toilet seat down. I asked you to take out the trash but you didn’t, I’m disappointed’ (correct). ‘You are so inconsiderate. Lazy person, you’re not worthy of my trust’ (wrong)!”
• “Good lover: First be a benefit finder, then be a benefit Creator.”
• “Best confession: ‘You make me want to be a better man.’”
• “Relationship is Expressing Rather than Impressing.”
• “Don’t do to loved ones what you wouldn’t do to acquaintances.”
• “Love is in the details.”
• “Positive Perception.”
• “Appreciate each other.”
• “Don’t take anything for granted. Self-fulfillment Prophecy.”
• “Be benefit finders (a characteristic of lasting love is that the evaluation of the partner is higher than the facts).”

Love maintenance

• “Hard work.”
• “Be known rather than impress.”
• “Accept conflicts.”
• “Be a benefit finder.”
• “For communication, make it active and constructive. Active means speaking your feeling & commenting positively rather than being asked. Constructed means making your speaking more succulent and asking questions.”
• “Feel engaged & concerned, rather than numb & indifferent. Genuine, not fake.”
• “Self-serving: doing because of love (love, because I’m happy, so I give).”
• “Altruistic: for responsibility, though not liking it (love, because you’re happy).”
• “Which do you want to be? Which do you prefer?”
• “Self-serving is not ‘shameful’, on the contrary, it is the root source of all passion and motivation.”

Humor

• “First meeting: Humor is the most attractive way.”
• “Cultivate Humor: Journal positive content, when looking at the outside world, change its shape positively, watch funny people, keep asking: Why am I so humorous & why can’t others see it? Sometimes need to suppress feelings (e.g., extreme sadness) to come up with jokes.”
• “When others (or yourself) make mistakes, humor can resolve embarrassment.”
• “Humor is a tactful way of releasing inner impulses (emotions).”
• “Humor is an attitude toward viewing the world.”
• “Six stones may break my bones. But words will never hurt me, unless you throw a dictionary at me.”

Independence

• “Real self-esteem would never be ‘Too much’.”
• “People don’t always need to appear humble. I know my value.”
• “You don’t need to show off, but you can feel free to accept your achievement.”
• “Too much modesty is but another form of ostentation.”
• “Be true to your principles.”
• “When we cultivate our self-love, we are more likely to love others.”
• “‘You go east, I go west’ is still dependent. It should be ‘I know what I’m doing.’”

Habits & Growth

• “We first make our habits and then the habits make us.”
• “An even greater gift is to discover a Beautiful mind.”
• “The sky is the limit (unlimited future).”
• “Fake it till you make it. When you believe you can do better, you really do better.”
• “Even with theory, we’ll quickly forget unless we act immediately.”
• “When making a difficult decision, you actually know clearly which is the right one, so don’t overthink, just do it!”
• “In comfort zone, little change happens. In panic zone, we can hardly make it to the end. In stretch zone, stretching yourself, but not too much, is the best.”
• “Behavior and attitude don’t like inconsistency, so we eventually either change behavior or change attitude. Be sure to change behavior, don’t let it drag attitude down (attitude is often correct).”
• “Sometimes joy is the source of laughter, sometimes laughter becomes the source of joy. Our actions feed back to others while also feeding back to ourselves.”
• “Even if we act, we would really do it later on.”
• “‘Get your head up!’ really leads to a proud mind. It creates an environment of pride.”
• “‘Find opportunity in difficulty.’” —Winston Churchill
• “Expressing feelings is good for health.”
• “There are no other ways. You can think about it all day long. Nothing will happen. Unless we bring about Real, Actual, Behavioral change.”
• “When having negative emotions, focus attention on sensing which part of the body is affected, rather than overthinking, ‘How could I…? This is wrong.’ It will be fixed by ourselves. Don’t think about how to ’eliminate’ it, but feel the body state (let neural pathways change direction). Thinking about the emotion itself is ineffective. Need to rebuild cognition. What a privilege to…!”
• “If you came from hell, then create heaven.”
• “Time off is important for memory & creativity.”
• “Perfection is: COMMITTED to Ambition & success.”
• “Excellencism: Responsible, Sensitive, Simplify, happiness.”
• “Perfectionism: Anxious, guilt, losing edge, lose drive & ambition.”
• “Nature to be commanded must be obeyed.”
• “It’s neither Good or bad. It simply is.”
• “Find benefits within Journal.”

Peak Experiences

• “‘Peak Experience’, Feel so good & complete, like you don’t need anything else.”
• “How to obtain: Focus, Do one thing mindfully at a time.”
• “Spend your time. Rush is a Peak experience killer.”
• “Writing about it, thinking it over & over again, Enhances it.”
• “Introducing Immediately, Real, Behavioral Change. Don’t wait.”
• “Behavior changes your attitude.”

Differentiation

• “Differentiation is your ability to maintain your sense of self when you are emotionally and physically close to others, especially as they become increasingly important to you. Differentiation permits you to maintain your own course when lovers, friends & families pressure you to agree & conform.”
• “Well-differentiated people can agree without feeling like they are ’losing themselves’, and can disagree without feeling alienated & embittered.”
• “Behave as we would, & we will be.”
• “Having Role Models is really important. It expands our limitations.”

Work Perception

• “Perceive work as: a job. Result: Wait for vacation & promotion, want to raise salary and power. It makes us unhappy.”
• “Perceive work as: a calling. Result: It’s a privilege to be engaged! Desire to do Better. Happy!”
• “Self-concordant goals: Do what you Really want to do.”
• “Thinking: without my hard working, many people would be suffering (E.g. Doctor).”
• “Don’t completely resist material happiness. But never rely on it.”
• “How we interpret reality creates our own truth. Not an excuse, but part of the fact.”
• “We shouldn’t run away from our natural needs.”
• “The most noble thing is to listen to the inner voice.”

Goal Setting

• “Without goals, we become anxious.”
• “Interpersonal communication: set a harmonious goal that both conflicting parties participate in and are internally interdependent.”
• “‘No pain, No gain’ is WRONG. We can ‘Do better, with Pleasure’ (self-concordant goals).”
• “Interest in something → set harmonious goals → actively participate → succeed with ease and joy → more confident → set more harmonious goals — spiral up.”
• “Doing things yourself, being self-sufficient actually makes people happier, healthier (proving you have the ability to Do what you want).”
• “Too Easy is not necessarily good.”
• “Identify others’ strengths & advantages rather than finding problems (Focus changes reality of our own).”
• “Find your character strength. What did you do really well? Don’t focus on limits & flaws.”

Sources of Mental Health

• “Understanding this world (hardship is usable) [Object: world].”
• “Sense of manageability (I can deal with this pressure & toughness) [Object: self].”
• “Sense of mindfulness (This failure is not in vain, I’ve learned from it).”
• “When you write a journal, you’ll write about (whether you realize it or not) these aspects, so journaling is a tool that makes people psychologically healthy (Reduce stress, increase Happiness).”
• “Self-concordant goals: work, private life, everything should have a goal (and plan) become more Efficient & colorful.”
• “Having the goals & having the commitment is what matters. Not what I obtain.”
• “Live not for battles won, Live not for the end of the song. Live for the along.”
• “Goals are not for duty & Responsibility. It’s to do things that you care about deeply from within. Want to do, rather than have to do.”

Living in the Present

• “When you have no idea what you are going to do, then enjoy the present.”
• “Feel gratitude for every little thing, even merely being alive.”
• “Goals are Means toward the present end.”
• “‘I’m unhappy now, but I’ll be happy there’ Wrong. If you are not happy now, you won’t feel happy whatever you achieve in the future.”
• “Happiness is just next to you. But you’ve looked too far to miss it.”
• “Happiness is not reaching the peak, nor climbing aimlessly, but enjoying every step upward.”
• “Difficulties in implementation: must overcome personal difficulties and social pressures.”
• “Life is too short to do what I have to do. It barely has time to do what I want to do.”
• “If you want a happier world, start from yourself.”
• “Instead of thinking about what we have to live with, think about what we can’t live without.”
• “Writing goals DOWN really makes a difference.”
• “Set the earliest start deadline (because once we start, our goals will motivate us).”
• “Goals (short-term small goals) must be as specific as possible (we have more strength to do it).”
• “When you set a goal for your staff that they think is crazy, it actually energizes them (E.g. Steve Jobs).”
• “Importance of reading Biography: when you see the tough struggles great men have experienced from A→B, you will realize that ‘I can do it as well! Not so Great as I thought!’”
• “People can imagine themselves taking steps, but it’s hard for them to believe that they can reach peaks.”

Rest & Recovery

• “The best way to deal with stress is to stay away for a while.”
• “We tend to try doing too much within too little time.”
• “Focus on what works, rather than flaws.”
• “Stress gives us motivation, and even makes us happier for the long run.”
• “If we refuse to rest, it will actually hurt us (Mentally & physically).”
• “Work 1~2h (determined by body feeling) rest 15min (No E-Mail. No Phone call).”
• “Methods: Meditation, Music, Gym, Lunch…”
• “Then this will be MY DAY! I can really handle it.”
• “Flexibility Routine: flexibly execute plans/routines, don’t be All or none.”
• “Recreation leads to creation.”
• “Pressure → (unable to relieve) → long-term anxiety → (over time) → depression.”

Adjustments

• “Small: Work 1~2h, rest 15min (not playing on the phone!). When inappropriate (fatigue, anxiety, etc.) lie down for a nap.”
• “Medium: Rest one day a week, sleep well every night.”
• “Large: Vacations - go crazy! Work hard, play hard.”
• “Take your time to appreciate the beauty of life.”
• “It’s NATURAL to recover & play. All animals do. But we refuse to take it. People who completely reject human nature will only end up battered. Permission to be human.”

Focus & Simplicity

• “FOCUS on Whether it’s work or recovery, FOCUS!”
• “Quantity does affect quality. Don’t Rush!”
• “Simple things may be happy, but combination ruins them all.”
• “Don’t use your Phone while working (Especially not Email). It ruins focus.”
• “The feeling that I have time to do things we are doing makes us happy.”
• “When we say no to others, we are saying yes to ourselves’ happiness.”
• “I haven’t failed enough to succeed.”
• “Courage is not about having no fear. But it’s about having fear and going forward anyway.”
• “We are afraid to learn & fail because we realize that others are watching.”
• “The worst mistake that a man can make is to be afraid of making one.”
• “If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.”
• “‘I’ve just invested 100 million dollars in your education and I’m about to fire you?’ Psychological safety: when you have no worries, you’ll actually do better.”
• “Coercion can make someone do something, but never make them do it well. Holding doctors responsible for medical accidents only makes things worse.”
• “People who have been able to persist on dieting are people who have failed on average 5 times before.”
• “Sustainable growth. Find your optimal level.”
• “When you are finding your position, there will be trials & errors. It’s OK, because that’s how things work, it will ultimately do much more good than bad.”

Overcoming Procrastination

• “No matter what, stick with it for 5 minutes, JUST DO IT! (You don’t need a mechanism to act, only by doing first will you be motivated in the process).”
• “Announce your goals.”
• “Do with a team.”
• “Permission to recreate & recover.”
• “What do I really want to do in my life if I lived in a world where no one sees?”
• “Calm down, spend your time, think more, react more, then we are less likely to go with the masses.”
• “‘Don’t lie, keep promises’ is self-esteem (My word matters).”
• “‘What is most personal is most general.’”
• “To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily, not to dare is to lose oneself.”
• “Prepare, Prepare, Prepare, and then be spontaneous (hard work is important).”
• “EVERYBODY has his/her value.”
• “Leadership is the ability to create an environment where everyone can do their most courageous thinking together.”